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I’ll Sleep When I Die

06 Oct

After I graduated High School I took a job in a little factory working second shift. It wasn’t long and I made friends with several people there and we would end up staying up till the morning sun rose goofing off and running our mouths. We had just recently moved to the area and rented a house that belonged to a farmer. The house was set in the middle of several hundred acres of pasture filled with just about every farm animal you could imagine. The farmer would come several times a week to check on his animals and visit with us. It never failed that when he came to visit we were in bed. Yet it didn’t phase him a bit to come pounding on the door just to chat. Of all the things he would talk about, there was one thing he said that has always stuck in my mind.  He would always laugh at us and tell us, “I don’t waste time sleeping, I’ll sleep when I die.”

It’s now six thirty in the morning, I’ve been up since four. I’m not certain, but I think it was around one or two when I went to sleep last night, or this morning, however you want to look at it. Either way, I’m wide awake, my mind is flowing with a million things I need to conquer today and going back to bed is not one of them. I could never understand how that old farmer could keep himself going relentlessly as he did but now, as his words are rolling through amiss all the other jumble, I can understand him finally.

You see he lived a life he loved. He lived his passion. Every morning he woke up knowing he had a life to live to the fullest. Yes, it involved work and some aggravation dotted with struggles, but everything he did held a value to him that improved his life. He wasn’t stuck in the monotony that far too many of us find ourselves in where we are simply trudging through life trying to survive hoping that somewhere along the line something good will come of it. He lived a life where sleep was nothing more than a necessity instead of the escape of reality that many of us seek.

I’ve spent most of my life in that trap. I hated waking up and realizing that the day was going to be nothing more than a repeat of the miserable day before. Even when I quit working to stay home with the kids, that didn’t change. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but I wasn’t living my passion. There was something incredible missing in my life.  I think most of us feel that way. I see my husband struggling with it everyday when he goes to work. I think somewhere along the line we forget that life is what we make of it. We get so bogged down by the struggles in life that we forget that this is the life we created for ourselves. That can be a hard pill to swallow, but when you do, you discover something amazing. You have the power to change your life for the better.

It isn’t something that can happen over night. But the first step is discovering your true passion, the thing that makes you wake up everyday filled with energy to forge your way through this life. Now I’m not saying you need to turn into an insomniac like me because it’s not healthy. Lack of sleep can lead you to that eternal slumber faster than you realize. But what I am saying is do yourself, your family, your friends, your coworkers, your neighbors, and everyone else that you encounter, a favor; find that passion in your life. Step out of the monotony and find the one thing that makes your life worth waking up every single day.

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Posted by on October 6, 2012 in My Writing Journey

 

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